Friday, 28 January 2011

Sparkly Bites: The Actors whose Names you probably don't know

You've most likely seen them in more movies than you've had hot dinners. You probably even quite like them. But for some reason, you will never remember their names. This is something that I've always found, and I've decided it's time to put an end to it once and for all.

Here are some examples:
#1You know...Juno's dad.
Beneath that thumbs-up lies a career-long grude of unrecognition.

This is J.K Simmons.

"Him, on the left" doesn't count.Neither does "Titanic submarine guy with earring."

This is Bill Paxton.

These are all the ones I can think of. Which actors do you know, but simply not their names?

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

What Up? (6.0)

Happy Tuesday!
  • My skin is being quite obedient lately. Obviously, I'm not blemish free, but I really can't complain. Could the Body Shop Vitamin E Face Soap be doing the trick?
  • I started my job at McDonald's last weekend. Three words: OH MY GOD. I could never have precedented how tiring and exhausting 17 hours could be. All I'm thinking of right now is the money. Me = $.$
  • Some people are getting far too mean on You Tube. I am a big fan of beauty tutorials, but I have to say, the hate that some of these girls get is completely undeserved. Seriously, if I was some of them, I'd have packed it in by now.
  • 90210 is the best show ever. I'm just about to watch it on 4oD, and I can't wait. Guilty pleasurez, fo' evah!
  • I hate wading though books, but I'm persuading myself not to be the type of person that quits half way. Hurry up Heller, goddammit!
Loving: My mummy.
Hating: Rain!

How's your week going?

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Sparkly Bites (1.0) - Tony Blair

This is going to be a sporadical installment to my blog, where you'll see me write miniscule thoughts and outbursts, that will most likely interest absolutely no-one. Wow, I made that sound appealing, didn't I?

Tony BlairClick to enlarge, if it's the last thing you do!

Whatever you think of this man, (and I for one am a major fan), you cannot deny he looks SO FRICKING HOT in this photo.

Well, I guess you can deny it, but you shouldn't.

Tony Blair is officially on the 'Weird Men I Fancy' list.

Do you agree?

Monday, 17 January 2011

The Golden Globes 2011 Outfit Review

Yes! It's officially awards season again! Oh, how happy that makes me. I'm now itching in anticipation for the Oscars, but meanwhile, the Golden Globes will do well to quench my thirst.

I liked:

Oh my, is this Emma Stone? As in always ginger Emma Stone? - I adore this incredibely simple, matte dress. She looks stunning.Dianne Argon is every inch the Hollywood pin-up.Oh hello January Jones! Perhaps the only woman who looks this good with a red lip.I love this print and colour on Gabourey Sidibe. She, however, is divine.
Gotta hand it to Angelina Jolie, she looks fierce. This colour really sets off her eyes.Anne Hathaway fulfills my penchant for high neck, long sleeved dresses.Olivia Wilde looks 'dazzling' (wow, cringe!) in this gown.

I didn't rate:
What is this awkward polygon intruding on Kelly Osbourne's otherwise non-offensive dress?
I don't like Leighton Meester, I don't like her ageing, poufy dress. Fact.Piper Perabo teaches you the most valuable lesson in life. How to completely erradicate any feminine aspect of your body shape - wear a ruler!
Aaaargh! Julianne Moore is beautiful, but this deflated balloon residing on her chest ain't doing no favours.
Michelle Williams? Mothercare called! They want their frock back.
Speaking of Mothercare...hehe. Natalie Portman look amazing preggers, and the dress was that close to being one of my favourites of the night. But the red glittery rose looks dreadful, especially clashing with the necklace. Oh well, she was still one of the most beautiful women there.

Hope you enjoyed this.
What did you think of the Golden Globes wardrobe?

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Nails of the Day - Latte 2 Go

I've seriously tried to get to terms with coloured nailpolish, I really have. But see, there are 3 issues bothering me:
  1. You put a nailpolish on, and it looks stunning, and all you wanna do is keep stroking your face with the palm of your hand so people notice. 2nd time you put it on, it looks crap. Anyone else find this?
  2. My nails are not in the greatest condition, I'm happy to admit that. Which means that nailpolish hardly ever wears well. I guess this one's my fault though.
  3. My nailpolish chips like the paint on shabby chic furniture (ie. a lot). I dunno if this down to the poor quality of my nails again, but it sure as hell means that if I'm sporting a red nailpolish look on Monday, I get the whole 'Ke$ha' (shudder) effect on Wednesday.
Oh wait, there's four: It takes so long to dry, I ain't got the time nor the patience.

But this is most definitely my favourite nailpolish -With flash - mannequin hand.Without flash - dipped my hand in,hand.

I got this in H&M, cost be about 2 bob, no love lost. However, this nailpolish is perfect for me. It satisfies my penchant for all things nude, it dries quicker than Hussain Bolt and stays on for quite a while. All in all, I keep going back to this nailpolish. So much so, it was mentioned in my 8 Most Worn Tag - hello shameless plug!
Also, in the daylight, it adopts a sort of pinku/lilacy feel. It never stops giving!

Hope you like my NOTD post. I'll try and do more :)

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Perfume Adverts - the Ridiculous

I understand that the perfume industry is built on the decadent foundation of cliches. And I'm happy to accept that. However, we mustn't forget the last category in my perfume adverts scrutiny. Yes indeed, it takes a real genius to reduce a potentially amazing perfume into the laughing stock of the Boots fragrance section. Allow me to introduce you to some of the most tasteless, weird and cringey adverts you've ever seen...

Tom Ford For Men Campaign
One thing I must stress: If you're reading this post with your strict puritan grandmother in tow, you'll most likely want to conceal her innocent eyes right now. Yes, what you see above is, as they say, fo'real. Look, I get it, sex sells. And, if we're to believe everything Tom Ford tells us, a sweaty, bald pube does too. Open up your Webster's Dictionary:
Crude [krood] adjective,, crud.est, noun = See Tom Ford 'For Men' advert.

Go check it now if you don't believe me! Also look up 'revolting'. You'll get the same result.

Marc Jacobs Bang Campaign

Baby oil? Check. Large piece of foil complete with tattooed naked man? Check. An awkward metallic cutout to cover said naked man's private parts? Check. Why, this advert has all the ingredients to being absolutely...hmmm...stupid!
"Oooh, I feel so hot lying here on my foil". Yeeeah, we'll take your word on that.
One thing I must admit though, at least they made some effort to conceal the poor man's decency. The same can't be said for that exploited piece of genitalia above.

Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue - David Gandy Campaign

Now girls, I'm no prude. I am more than happy to admit that David Gandy is probably one of the most statuesque men to arrive on this earth since Zeus! But this advert has two things that are a bit O.o inducing.
First of all, that lingering shot of David's (we're on first name terms) tighty-whiteys. I mean, the fact he's wearing swimming trunks suitable only for a 12 year old effeminate adolescent is bad enough. Don't make a big deal of it or anything! And then we get the passionate kissing, with the opera music and it's all very atmospheric, and 'Ooooh, isn't David Gandy a bit of alright?' and BAM! They ruin the mood with that terrible clapper. I mean, what is the point? I was kind of feeling like Stella, you know. Getting my groove back.

Watch this advert here.

Calvin Klein Escape - Milla Jovovich CampaignIt's refreshing to see Milla Jovovivh on a good day. Those L'Oreal adverts make her look like an eagle on a botox-hype. But here, she's hot. Sizzling if you will. Making her way down that claustrophobic corridor, black and white, come to mamma! And then the guy comes in. Or more, scarpers in. He looks like a deer that's been shot in the leg. You can pretty imagine this is how it went down in the marketing meeting.

Nervous Intern: So, why don't we have like this contest? Like, gay can you get in the space of 0.46 seconds?
Calvin Klein: I love it!

Except he's not really gay at all, because the other half of the advert sees him getting incredibly personal with Milla. Lucky twat.

Watch this advert here.

Sarah Jessica Parker Covet Campaign
Sarah Jessica Parker (or SJP as we will call her from this point on) is one of the many celebrities that has succumbed to Over-the-Hill-Desperation syndrome. It happens to the best of them. Angelina Jolie had 'Salt', Robert De Niro had 'Stardust', and SJP had 'Covet'. Gone are they days of her dignity, Sarah's gone onto better places now! Crime! Take this advice from Auntie Jessie kids, if you want something, don't earn it. Steal it! I'll see you in juvie jail come September.

PS: Since when did she speak French?

Watch this advert here.

And that's all folks. I really enjoyed writing these, I hope I get another chance to completely annihilate something soon. Which adverts can you not stand?

What Up? (5.0)

  • I had my first ever job interview today. Yes! As of today, I am potentially (fingers crossed) a McDonald's employee. In the words of Apu Nahasapeemapetalon - "It may not be glamorous, but it's good, honest work". And lord knows I need the money.
  • I've gone a bit feverish with my 'future', trying to plan what Uni's I'm going to apply for when the time comes and etc. In Febuary, I'll be attending a 3-day shadowing course in Cambridge! I'm so excited.
  • I'm going through a period now where I physically cannot and WILL not wear trousers. Skirts have gotten me through winter, and pantaloons be damned, they're taking me through the rest of the year.
  • Loads of people have been getting nasty flus, and viruses (including my beautiful mummy). My immune system's holding up ok; no icky coughs for me. However, I do realise that through writing this I will most likely be struck down my a tropical fever and be bed ridden for the next month.
  • I love my rabbit more than I love life.

Loving - Toffifee
Hating - The fact that it's still dark at 16.00!

How's this week holding up for you?

Monday, 10 January 2011

Perfume Adverts - the Bad

I'm sure I have some work to be doing, but I'm not really feeling up to it at all today. Booo.

Welcome to the second installment of the 'Perfume Adverts' series. If you missed the first, then all you have to do is click riiight here. These adverts are the ones that I just don't particularly warm to. It's not that they're cringey, or even ludicrous, but I don't think they 'sell well'. Now, don't me fooled, I know nothing about advertising, but I'm looking at this from a consumer's point of view, and if I don't like what I see, then I ain't buyin'. And that's their loss really isn't it :D
Dolce and Gabbana 'The One' - Matthew McConaughey Campaign
SHOCKER! I hate Matthew McConaghwhatsherface. He annoys the literal hell out of me. I'm aware he's considered an Adonis by some, but for me he has absolutely zilch sex appeal. And that's what the perfume industry's all about, no? I mean, look at this picture. His chest looks ridiculously smooth, like someone just shellaced it. And that grin? I meant to be attracted by that? No, no, no. Sorry Matthew, I know there's a lotta girls out there that'd eat a homeless man's toenail to be in with a chance with you, but you ain't getting anywhere near me.
(I bet he's crying into his D&G shirt as we speak).

Watch the video here.

Jean-Paul Gaultier Mademoiselle - Agyness Deyn Campaign

Yes, another judgement made solely on the person backing the campaign. I remember the time everyone and her cat was obsessed with Agyness Deyn. "Oh, she's revolutionary!" I heard in my left ear, "She's the most gorgeous woman!", I heard in my right. Well, I call bull. Anyway, my disdain stretches as far as this quite boring and awkward advert, where all we see Aggy doing is ruining a perfectly good outfit and getting all androgynous on us. And I have no problem with that. Except when Aggy does it. And that hideous 'Franglais' way she says 'Jean-Paul Gaultier' at the end. I appreciate she may not be a native French speaker, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to give me the burning desire to slap you!

Watch the video here.

Thierry Mugler Alien Campaign So you know there's that film ET? Yeah. Well, ET's cute, and he's got a lovely lil' bicycle, and you know, he really seems to be going places? Look at him, strutting his martian ass all up on my TV screen. Except then you realise it's a perfume advert. And ET's a woman. Ewwwwwww.
ET go home? I'll buy the ticket!

Watch the advert here.

Britney Spears Radiance CampaignBritney's had a hard time for the past...decade, and I really do hope everything's working out for her. However, that's no reason that I can't expose this advert for the embarrassment it really is. There are three things that don't quite work in this advert.
  1. At first, Brit's all like "Hey, look, a fortune teller, awesoooome!". Then she sits down, and walks away. She's a fickle one, she is!
  2. She's gonna 'Choose her own destiny', now? I know it's nitpicky, but the whole thing about your destiny is that it's set for you, y'know, written in the stars and all that. So, hard as she may, she can't actually choose it. Which is sad, because now she's just standing in some dodgy alleyway looking a bit lost.
  3. So you'd think that after all the references she's been pulling out the bag, the perfume would be called 'Destiny', or something. Well, apparently, calling it something completely different and unrelated like 'Radiance' also makes sense. Real puzzle this advert is...
See the advert here.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed this. What other perfume adverts are you not a fan of. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, 9 January 2011

I love earrings!

Today I tried to make more sense in my earring collection.
I love earrings. I really do. I sort of feel naked without them. Necklaces/bracelets/rings really don't enthuse me, but when it comes to a pretty pair of earrings, I'm there like a shot!
This is what I did:
  1. Got one of my cousin's old fabric head-bands. I don't think she needs it anymore. If she does, tough!
  2. Cut it, so it made a nice little strip.
  3. Pierced all my earrings in!
It's probably easier than the days of the week. But even those can be quite tricky!

I lika' studs.
Most of these are just random studs I've collected over a while: I love Topshop jewelry, as well as George at Asda and I've even found some gems at Supedrug.

I love owls:Freedom at TopshopFreedom at TopshopRandom shop in Cornwall.

Hope you guys enjoyed. Do you like earrings?

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Moulin Rouge? Hell no.

Yesterday I watched Moulin Rouge, and I'm not going to lie, having heard so much about it, I was pretty excited. Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but Moulin Rouge is not a good film. Quite plainly, it's a bad film. So bad, I didn't even bother watching till the end.It's been hyped for having one of the most captivating love stories ever seen on film, but Nicole Kidman (or Satine) is made out to be such a slag, you'd be convinced she'd jump into bed with any penniless broad.
Moreover, the woman can't sing. Ewan McGregor's not bad at all, and I do admit he is slightly charming, but as for the female protagonist, I was extremely underwhelmed. To be honest, I think the main problem with this film is casting Nicole Kidman as Satine.Hello, Ghostlike.

Nicole Kidman suits roles like this:Isn't she gorgeous?

But in Moulin Rouge, she's meant to be a siren, a sinner, a saint and a bubbling sexpot bubbling to the brim with female energy. The elfin features just don't cut it. I can think of dozens of more suitable actresses for the role. (Think Winslet, Johansson, even Theron). Basically, someone that'll make matte red lips look good. There was little, if any chemistry between the two actors, and while I admit that the film is very rich and lavish visually, the story and acting just doesn't match up."Wait for the 'cut', waaaaaiiit for iiiiit"

I'm also not too keen on the hysterical attempts to make this film as modern as possible. 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' playing in Bohemian Paris = perverse.The guy in the bottom right hand corner made me so angry.

Perhaps, if he captured the true feel of the city, a real sizzling love story and some really powerful musical numbers, Baz Luhrmann would have been able to make one of the best guilty pleasures of the century.For now, I think he'd better stick to the advertising field.
Thank the lord for that.

Friday, 7 January 2011

Perfume Adverts - the Good

This 3-part serious will be called the 'Perfume Adverts: The Good, the Bad, and the just plain Ridiculous'.
Perfume adverts are seriously everywhere. It seems whenever you flick the channel, there'll be some form of semi-naked woman, whimpering in a groaning voice, appearing to be involving herself in some sort of hedonistic activity. Sadly, I love the over-sexualised perfume industry, and perfume adverts are a little pleasure of mine. Here are some top picks...

Georgio Armani Diamonds - Beyonce CampaignOk, let it be known, I love Beyonce. That woman could pop her name on a plastic bag filled with cow dung, and I'd buy three crates full. Whatever she touches turns to gold, or, more topically, diamonds. This advert shows the best sides of my girl B. She's fierce, she looks hotter than molten lava, and she sings like the absolute siren she is. And it's in black and white. Can I fault it? No.
Watch the advert here.

Chanel Coco Mademoiselle - Kiera KnightleyFirst of all, I love the song. I'm not actually a big Joss Stone kind of gal, but her voice with this track has that nice raspy quality, and it really makes this advert what it is. As for Kiera herself, all she does is pout copious amounts, flash some back cleavage and calls it a night. I like the reds and the golds in this advert, plus it really makes the perfume look like a real man-magnet. And I'm never one to turn that down...
Watch the advert here.

Dolce and Gabbana One - Gisele Bundchen Campaign
Gisele is one of those women that you could just look at for hours on end and still end up pondering how she got that ludicrously gorgeous bone structure. Then you begin to get jealous. Then you start feeling angry. Then you turn to eating Ferrero Rochers with tear stained cheeks. But that's a story for another day. There are some things I don't love about the advert. Sunglasses? With that dress? Really? Nevertheless, overall, I love the look of this advert. It's busy, they're all in a rush, but Gisele's husky tones never fail to make it back to base. She just looks like such a blast to hang out with, doesn't she?
Watch the advert here.

Moschino Cheap and Chic - I Love Love CampaignThis advert is waaay beyond my usual taste. You've probably noticed that some complimentary hues and a ferocious woman will satisfy me. This is something completely different, yet I still feel that it has a very unique quality about it. The narcotised model, the strange origami head-gear, that worrying innuendo with the bottle, it all moulds together to form something quite disquieting, but something quite wonderful as well. I'm not going to lie to you though, the perfume smells manky. Guess you can't have it all.

Miss Dior Cherie - Sofia Coppola/Maryna Linchuk CampaignYou know when you go on tumblr, and there are hoards of pictures that have been taken through some dusty, antiquey filter, with crisp little sun rays, capturing dainty little pink things, like shoes and telephones? Well, this advert is basically a whole 46 seconds of that. It epitomises Parisian chic, and makes most women who watch it either get on to Easy Jet to book a last minute flight to Paris, or onto buying a croissant. I guess the most logical thing would be to buy the perfume, but what's logical about advertising? NOTHING. No, but seriously, this advert makes me feel all warm and feminine inside. Thumbs up to Sofia!
Watch the advert here.

Gucci by Gucci - Raquel Zimmerman, Natasha Poly and Freja Beha Erichsen CampaignThere was a point in my youth when I had this advert on repeat. It has such a rich colour intensity, and I love this song. David Lynch is a famed director, and you can definitely see an artist's touch in this gem. I also adore the awkward dancing models, but I think that gives the advert it's charm. Because Blondie used to dance like she was a broken record. But it was really hot.
Watch this advert here.

Chanel No.5 - The Film Campaign with Nicole KidmanIf there's any justice in the world, this should well be in the 'Bad' and certainly in the 'Ridiculous' category. But I'm a sucker for cheese, and this is a big, fat, stinky slice of Stilton. So there's a storyline, there's costume changes, there's even a mild luurve scene, there's a 2 minute long cliche. And it's so goddamn romantic. I realise the dialogue is sometimes almost too cringey to bear, but come on, it's just so sweet. And they main guy: hello! Yes, I know, I'm pathetic. Now let's watch it again.
Watch this advert here.

And that about concludes it. Phwoar, this took my a while, but it was fun. Hope you guys like this list, and tell me, which adverts do you enjoy?
And remember to give me a cheeky like. Cause I like you. ;)