Monday, 10 January 2011

Perfume Adverts - the Bad

I'm sure I have some work to be doing, but I'm not really feeling up to it at all today. Booo.

Welcome to the second installment of the 'Perfume Adverts' series. If you missed the first, then all you have to do is click riiight here. These adverts are the ones that I just don't particularly warm to. It's not that they're cringey, or even ludicrous, but I don't think they 'sell well'. Now, don't me fooled, I know nothing about advertising, but I'm looking at this from a consumer's point of view, and if I don't like what I see, then I ain't buyin'. And that's their loss really isn't it :D
Dolce and Gabbana 'The One' - Matthew McConaughey Campaign
SHOCKER! I hate Matthew McConaghwhatsherface. He annoys the literal hell out of me. I'm aware he's considered an Adonis by some, but for me he has absolutely zilch sex appeal. And that's what the perfume industry's all about, no? I mean, look at this picture. His chest looks ridiculously smooth, like someone just shellaced it. And that grin? I meant to be attracted by that? No, no, no. Sorry Matthew, I know there's a lotta girls out there that'd eat a homeless man's toenail to be in with a chance with you, but you ain't getting anywhere near me.
(I bet he's crying into his D&G shirt as we speak).

Watch the video here.

Jean-Paul Gaultier Mademoiselle - Agyness Deyn Campaign

Yes, another judgement made solely on the person backing the campaign. I remember the time everyone and her cat was obsessed with Agyness Deyn. "Oh, she's revolutionary!" I heard in my left ear, "She's the most gorgeous woman!", I heard in my right. Well, I call bull. Anyway, my disdain stretches as far as this quite boring and awkward advert, where all we see Aggy doing is ruining a perfectly good outfit and getting all androgynous on us. And I have no problem with that. Except when Aggy does it. And that hideous 'Franglais' way she says 'Jean-Paul Gaultier' at the end. I appreciate she may not be a native French speaker, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to give me the burning desire to slap you!

Watch the video here.

Thierry Mugler Alien Campaign So you know there's that film ET? Yeah. Well, ET's cute, and he's got a lovely lil' bicycle, and you know, he really seems to be going places? Look at him, strutting his martian ass all up on my TV screen. Except then you realise it's a perfume advert. And ET's a woman. Ewwwwwww.
ET go home? I'll buy the ticket!

Watch the advert here.

Britney Spears Radiance CampaignBritney's had a hard time for the past...decade, and I really do hope everything's working out for her. However, that's no reason that I can't expose this advert for the embarrassment it really is. There are three things that don't quite work in this advert.
  1. At first, Brit's all like "Hey, look, a fortune teller, awesoooome!". Then she sits down, and walks away. She's a fickle one, she is!
  2. She's gonna 'Choose her own destiny', now? I know it's nitpicky, but the whole thing about your destiny is that it's set for you, y'know, written in the stars and all that. So, hard as she may, she can't actually choose it. Which is sad, because now she's just standing in some dodgy alleyway looking a bit lost.
  3. So you'd think that after all the references she's been pulling out the bag, the perfume would be called 'Destiny', or something. Well, apparently, calling it something completely different and unrelated like 'Radiance' also makes sense. Real puzzle this advert is...
See the advert here.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed this. What other perfume adverts are you not a fan of. Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

CurlyMoomin said...

Ha! I enjoyed this post a lot. I also cannot for the life of me understand what people see in Matthew M, I think he's really odd looking and a crappy actor.